Killer’s Kiss

By ELLA SHIELDS

The time has come. I will no longer be safe anywhere I go. My friends have turned into enemies, harmless kisses turned into murders. The time has come for Killer’s Kiss.

I live with the most competitive people on campus. Tables have been flipped over a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. They not only want to win Killer’s Kiss, they want to win Most Kills. The pressure is on.

My heart is beating and my hands are shaking as I check my first target, praying it’s not someone who hates me or a past hook up.

It’s worse. An unknown.

I frantically search Facebook for any intel I can get. Gold mine: she is tall and blonde.

Fuck.

With my improv background, I’m great at thinking on my feet. I quickly post on UCU Students to lure her to the ASC office under the ruse of a misdelivered package.

She brings a witness.

Fuck.

I use the fake package I crafted to block the witness from view and follow through with my hasty plan. She claims to witness the kiss anyway and they both laugh at my feeble attempt.

The next two days I hear of the amazing kills of fellow players. My unit mates have killed at least two people each. My target has killed my friend. The clock is ticking. I have until Sunday or I’m dead. Not only out of the game, but forced to live with the shame of not even being killed. Death by being incapable.

I help a friend carry costumes to the BPA and there I see her. She is in a boxing match. There’s total focus on her opponent. She isn’t wearing her glasses.

It’s my time to strike.

Ignoring the stench of sweat in the air and knowing I will have to taste it on my lips, I go for attempt number two. I sneak up behind her. She doesn’t notice. I slooooowly lean in towards her face and then it happens all at once. She boxes me out while her friend shouts “I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU!” I failed again.

Fuck.

As the desperation starts pulling me into the darkness, I turn to informants. I find out she goes to Game Nights every Wednesday. I trade information to get an accomplice. We concoct a plan for the accomplice to distract her while I sneak up behind. My target doesn’t show up for Game Night.

Fuck.

I make her unit mates let me in at night to catch her sleeping. She is not home. The unit mates stare at me until I realize I am being creepy.

Fuck.

Killer’s Kiss is a game of paranoia for a reason. I have too much on my plate to possibly be spending this much time trying to stalk a girl I don’t know just to give her a kiss on the cheek, and yet I cannot live with the shame if I don’t. I will wake up early tomorrow and spend the day in her building. Waiting. It is the only way.

Ella Shields, 27.03.2017 – 30.03.2017. Killed by a friend’s fake comforting in a time of need.

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