A Californian’s Guide: How to stay warm in Holland

By Brian Yu

Considering that my wardrobe consists of at least 70% tank tops and shorts, cold would not seem to be the most lekker choice. You therefore may wonder why I chose Holland as exchange destination? After about a month I have however become a certified expert on how to survive in the cold. I have concocted a list of the top 3 items make life bearable with a subjective rating system composed of two categories, aesthetics and warmth – the core of a coping strategy.

Aesthetics

Everyone knows that swag > comfort, so before everything you must be at your peak fashion-wise. Just look at the eskimos: those fluffy coats are definitely not fashionable and when was the last time you heard from one of them?

Scoring:

1 = In high school, 95% of the girls would wear an ensemble of clothing referred to as the unholy trinity: Northface jacket, sweatpants, and Ugg boots. Keep in mind this was also in California so the unattractive bulkiness of this particular outfit was both unnecessary and unnecessary.

5 = Anything Kanye wears.

Warmth

The opposite of cold is warm, so if your goal is to not be cold it can be deduced that you should strive to be warm. *Science*

1 = Wet and Naked.

5 = Electric blanket.

Wool Coat

Aesthetics: I am a person that has never owned a “coat” or anything “woolen” or that “was actually supposed to go below my waist”, adding that most of these things have that flap thing blazers that tickle my “swag senses”. Also they have buttons, buttons are fancy. 4/5

Warmth: My first week here my drunk ass got lost on the way home while it was snowing and at one point I thought that I would have to sleep outside and die of hypothermia. Luckily enough my wool coat said: “Brian, I got your back, we’ll get through this together.” Eventually after close to an hour of stumbling around I found my way back to campus. 5/5

Down Jacket

Everyone’s favorite garbage bag material piece of clothing

Aesthetics: If you want to look like the Michelin man tire guy then this is your jacket. If not, you look like you’re wearing a puffy trash bag. 2/5

Warmth: I’ve never actually worn one of these but it looks like it would be pretty warm. [they are – Ed.] 3/5

Alcohol

The universal solution to any kind of problem.

Aesthetics: When you drink alcohol, people slowly start to become more attractive. Therefore, when you get more drunk you also become more attractive? In any culture, place, or climate alcohol is the one thing that translates across all different scenarios. 4/5

Warmth: The combination of increased body warmth and decreased amount of fucks given synergize into a complete cold weather package. 5/5

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