By Lillian Dam Bracia
The winter calls for warmth, so getting that dose of “Sex and the City” during the Christmas break, all cuddly and cozy on my bed, was more than a must. Once started I had to be careful to not get too Carrie’d away; I paused to puke out all of the emotional garbage I had seen on screen. For those of you fortunate ones, who have not watched the show, “Sex and the City” entails the life of four successful New Yorkers in their thirties who face ups and downs in their love lives. As you might guess, it can get very cheesy and can be as mind numbing as a ‘chick flick’. Nonetheless, while watching it I could not help but think of my personal life in the last three semesters at UC and eventually yes, sex. That’s right: sex. Wait a sec, or may I say: SEX where did you go? For us poor souls constituting the sad, sad 65% of the females on campus, and not to forget to mention the gay males who I am also guessing are not getting any or not often enough, I wonder where did the sex go? The point is, the lack of males on campus and the busy lives of UCU students makes sex a scarcity for some of us.
As a single girl and with the experience of being surrounded by other single girls about 90% of the time, I noticed how sex is a big topic amongst females at UC. I remember walking into Dining Hall last semester and overhearing a friend saying how she misses the feeling of a guy lying on top of her. Funnily enough, Carrie mentions exact same thing during season four. As I joined in, the conversation was followed by the usual “me too’s”, “when was the last time?” and several frustrated statements to another hopeless ending. Like Carrie and her girlfriends, girls at UC do seem to have love lives with their own ups and downs in relation to that mysterious romantic person. However, with the female dominant ratio, a typical scenario such as two to five other girls going for the same guy is not a rarity. Many have said to feel discouraged and less appreciated by the opposite sex at some point whilst at UCU. Keep in mind that these two to five other girls going through the love race are not just ‘any’ girls. Often they tend to be just as beautiful, smart and interesting as you are, if not more so. From the vast amount of gorgeous and intelligent females, UCU is known inside and out to be a haven for heterosexual males’ boost of confidence and ego when it comes to sex. Scores: boys – 1, girls – 0.
One might ask, what are the steps that lead people to commit the act of sex? The first one is easy: physical attraction. A boy and girl (or whichever combination you prefer) see each other, endorphins take hold, alcohol might be added to speed up the process and boom, and you have found a fusion. Now, when attraction on the social or intellectual level is added to the first step, sex not only becomes more rare, but more complicated. Actually, my mistake, actually having sex is never complicated, although the situation leading to the act tends to be. This is because it always ends up bringing inevitable questions to our minds like what ‘that’ meant not only towards him/her but for yourself too. Things such as, “does she/he like me?” or “hope she/he doesn’t think it’s anything too serious” usually come up. Sex with mixed feelings has the potential to cause pain. The moment one decides to let go of their intimacy for someone they are not sure about, the way he/she feels towards it can feel dangerously exhilarating. Having a ‘fling’ at UCU can be especially appealing, taking into account our busy schedules with classes, assignments, committee meetings, off campus activities, jobs etc. As exciting as they can be, they are at the same time complicated on campus due to the smaller number of students and the proximity of living and studying space. You are bound to meet that guy or girl from your one night stand after last night’s party, sitting across from you in Voltaire, standing next to you in the DH queue or on your way to class. Unavoidable. Awkward. Embarrassing.
Given that at UCU everything is in your face at all times, including your love life, and that based on our student ratio single girls do not have too many options of partners while guys have plenty, a conclusion to the sex situation at UCU is that straight males are more likely, if they want to, to have ‘flings’ more often in comparison to straight females. Quite frankly, the majority of females and the competition amongst them for a partner leaves more possibilities for guys to have sex. While UCU girls struggle to obtain that one boy’s attention, males, on the other hand, may feel no pressure since they are left with a handful of options. The truth is, if she is not interested, another one likely will be. As a guy friend once told me “it is just so easy that after a while it is not even exciting.” The fact that becoming involved with someone is something that happens so easily and fast in UCU students’ lives leads one to be less keen to look for ‘something more’, aware that there is a high chance for a third person to come in between. As mentioned before, sex gets tricky when emotions are involved. For some, blocking sexual and emotional intimacy has become a way of avoiding feelings from being hurt while for others staying ‘up all night to get lucky’ in the bar continues being more of an option – with boys definitely “getting lucky” more often than girls.