By Meera Rajasooriar
Ever felt like you needed advice but no one gave you the answers you were desperately craving? Have you ever wanted an outsider’s opinion to help you make that step in the right direction? Or just wanted to vent to someone who might be able to shed a little light on the situation? Well UCU’s very own Mother Meera is here to save the day and help you with all your problems, free of charge.
Dear Mother Meera, some of my family tell me I drink too much, and whilst I first thought this was ridiculous I now sort of get what they are saying. Although I don’t drink every night of the week, I do frequently binge drink and am starting to worry that this is bad for my health, but I don’t want to say no when people ask me to go to the bar because I don’t want to seem like a weirdo. What should I do?
Firstly, we’re only young so it’s ok to have a few social drinks every now and then with your friends. No one judged you for getting that extra cocktail at Cocktail Night or that extra beer last Saturday night, and it is entirely your choice to drink as much as you want to. What you should be aware of is that binge drinking can be a major problem if it’s not you who is in control of how much alcohol you are consuming. It’s very easy to succumb to the pressure of doing a few rounds of shots with your friends or downing a drink because you lost that drinking game, but it’s important to remain in control of your body. You, and only you, truly understand your limits when it comes to alcohol, so if you think you’ve had enough, politely say no thank you and get yourself a glass of water from the bar. It will help to clear your head and prevent a blinding headache from coming on, allowing you to enjoy the rest of your evening in a perhaps slightly hazy state, yet still fully aware of your surroundings. It’s just important to remember to find balance and confidence.
Hello Mother Meera, my boyfriend and I of 2 years decided to stay together despite living across the world from each other at our respective universities. However, he told me that he has cheated on me 3 times already since university started this fall, but I cannot afford to just catch a plane to see him and talk it through. What should I do?
This is a toughie. Whilst I think that it’s very difficult to trust someone who has cheated on you, it’s also very difficult to let go of someone whom you have loved for so long. Being long distance can and often does add extra strain on the relationship; however I think that you can’t continue without talking it through properly with him. Set aside an evening when you are both free and agree to skype each other for as long as it takes to talk it over. Whilst this obviously isn’t as good as being present in person, it can be difficult to move on or work on the relationship without airing all concerns first, so tell him exactly what you are thinking. Now is your opportunity to ask him questions and, most importantly, find out why he did it. In my opinion, this is the make or break question for the relationship. Then I’d suggest you have about a week where you don’t talk to each other to decide on your own whether continuing in the relationship is something that you really want to do. If it is, then make sure you fully forgive him and remember to not hold grudges. If it isn’t, be sure in your decision, don’t second guess yourself, and go and grab a tub of Ben and Jerry’s from Albert Heijn as quickly as possible.