Does Your Unit Have The Gross-Factor?

By Vera van Rossum

At the beginning of every semester all unit mates come together to create one of student life’s most quintessential documents: the cleaning schedule, designed to keep your unit smelling and looking good. Or so it should, because apart from being the most crucial, the cleaning schedule is also the most abandoned documents in student history. So now that the end of the semester is near, how clean are campus units? To find out, the Boomerang rates three random units on a scale from one to garbage dump. In other words: which unit has the biggest gross factor?

G 16. Gross factor: 5/10

A suspicious looking stack of pans, plates and cutlery stands on a far corner of the dinner table in this G-unit. G 16 inhabitant Adélaide Masson warns:

“These dirty dishes have been here pretty much since the beginning of the semester.I wouldn’t touch them if I were you!”

She is right, upon further examination there seems to be some mold growing inside one of the pans: ew! Two gross-out points for the dirty dishes.

Adélaide is also the one who put a note on the door to the living room of this unit urging her unit mates to please clean up. And with result: apart from its stack of dirty dishes which nobody dares to even touch, let alone wash, unit G 16 now looks relatively clean. Sure, you wouldn’t be able to walk on the floor barefooted (+1) and the fridge holds various expired foods (+2), but who cares? We wouldn’t be students without a little bit of mess in our units.

Wall 33. Gross factor: 7/10

Although the empty wine and beer bottles (+1) scattered around this Wall unit would not entirely pass a mum’s inspection, it does at first sight appear to be pretty clean. That is, however, until one notices the unit’s failed attempt at separating its garbage piled up in a corner. Wall 33 inhabitant Laura de Keizer explains: “One of the garbage bags with food waste fell over, but nobody wants to pick it up because it has molded orange peel spread all around it. Now we just leave it there. Someone even added a bunch of pizza boxes to it already!” Pretty disgusting Wall 33 (+2)!

Like all Wall units, Wall 33 is home to a family of rats. Now these are not the cute Disney ‘Ratatouille’ kind – although they do seem to have acquired a special taste for pumpkins after the unit’s Halloween party – but big scary rats randomly showing up in unit bathrooms. Imagine entering your shower and finding a big brown rat scurrying between your shampoo bottles: four extra gross-out points for this unit!

G9. Gross factor: 8/10

At its worst this unit is definitely worth eight gross points. Sticky floors (+1), garbage lying anywhere but in the garbage bin (+2) and complete stacks of dirty dishes (+1) make this unit a paradise for fruit flies, but not so much for its human inhabitants.

However, G9’s dirtiest little secret must be its urinal. Untouched by any form of cleaning product since the beginning of the semester, this filthy piece of bathroom furniture earns the unit some major gross-out points (+4). The smell coming from the brownish caked substance on the inside of the urinal is a peculiar mix between urine, overripe French cheese and feet, making nobody want to stay in the bathroom any longer than is strictly necessary. Perhaps time to start cleaning, guys?

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