Facebookoholics Anonymous

 By Anisia Mandro

I call everyone who asks me whether I have a Facebook account “Macklemore”, because as soon as they hear my reply, their first reaction is: ‘What?! What?! What?! What?!’

Surely, if your answer to this question is yes, you have not faced the oh-so-common flabbergasted facial expression followed by the familiar: “Seriously girl, do you have a life or not?! How do you keep in touch with people?” Although this may come as a surprise to the people that do have Facebook, I do actually have a life and it does not revolve around Facebook.

While I’m not particularly paranoid about social media sharing, I’m not thrilled about the idea of Big Brother watching my every move, either. Facebook may of course have its advantages, but they are like a single drop of water in the ocean of drawbacks. This may get most of you a little worked up, but have you ever thought of quitting Facebook, or did the idea never cross your mind? In any case I’m here to help you plant the seed of “QuitingFbAsap”.

If I were you I would start a memory book, collect photos and stick them on your wall instead of uploading them on Facebook. I found it so funny when a friend asked me to take a facebook photo. Seriously, is there a difference between regular and facebook pictures? Actually, it is more than obvious: Facebook sees only your best photos. That’s what everyone else does and you simply want to look just as nice, right? This raises a big point: no more Facebook means no more comparing yourself to others. If people want to see a perfect girl or a guy, Barbie and Ken will always be available on Google Images search.

I know that at UCU people see me as an animal left behind by the herd, and are shocked by the idea of “surviving” without Facebook. Trust me, a day will come when you’ll realize it’s simply… boring. Don’t you like the feeling of seeing people offline, having them shake your hand or hug you, ask you how everything is going. How about sitting down for a cup of tea and talking for hours and hours? Instead of chatting to people when they are online, we should grab our phone, call them and hang out. Isn’t that much better?

To the people who argue that Facebook is the only way to stay in touch with loved ones: you know nothing about technology. Sorry! There are many other ways through which you can keep in touch. The smartphone has revolutionized communication with its free texts applications, e-mail and Skype.

Sometimes I really feel sorry for people that check Facebook every five seconds. Decoding the meaning of people’s statuses is such a challenge. If someone you fancy updates their status, countless hours of trying to figure out whether or not it is dedicated to you follow. You would be a big liar if you denied experiencing this at least once. But please contain yourself, Facebook is not the best place to express every single tiny thing happening in your private life.

Just consider for a second how many important things you would do if you weren’t “Facestalking” people. People are turning into facebookoholics; once you have Facebook you do not realize how much time you spend in it. All I see during lectures is phones and laptops.

It’s not as if every event, announcement and party “must” go through Facebook. It may be true to some degree but look at me, I do not have Facebook and yet I am not out of the flow. And just think of privacy issues: your online personal life updates are handed to friends of friends on a silver platter and so your privacy is compromised. Need I say more?

At the time Facebook was founded you were considered cool if you had an account. But this was in 2004, 9 years ago, not in 2013. Don’t you still want be cool? Then roll with the new trend, and give up Facebook.


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