U Clone U

By Eugenia MelissenFerrer

It’s very likely that you know almost everyone by face on this campus. Although a seemingly insignificant fact, a closer face-inspection proves the contrary.

For all those looking for their long lost clone: you have come to the right place. That’s right; sooner or later you’re bound to realize that this campus is swarming with life-sized replicas of YOU!

The clones are harmless, don’t worry. They have human voices and similar interests as you. They have the same color hair as you, are of the same height and have scarily similarly shaped eyebrows.

To draw from personal experience, I have already met three of my clones. I’ve also been stared at in the face for several minutes while being referred to as somebody else, a pretty intense experience.

And I’m not alone. For weeks now, it seems like examples of clones have been spontaneously popping up everywhere. And that’s when you start to notice things. Clones are often friends, for instance. I’ve been told that people of the same height tend to form friendships, but I didn’t know this also applied to full-on near-identical appearance. I wonder if clones acknowledge the fact that they are so similar. Perhaps they are one step ahead of the rest, replacing terms like ‘best-friend’ of ‘buddy’ by ‘clone.’ It’s a shame clone has such a hollow emotionless ring to itotherwise I’m sure more people would be following their example.

The next thing you can’t help wondering is why this phenomenon exists. That’s when you can let your imagination run wildcould there be a secret plan behind the selection procedure at UCU, determined to develop and protect little UCU-übermenschen; capable clones that are sent to work for prestigious companies in different parts of the world? Are the clones simply the result of your permanent beer-goggles? Perhaps too many readings are distorting your perception of reality.Or something in the Dining-hall food makes us all resemble each other.

Perhaps the bitter truth is that we are not as unique as we think we are in the end. A plausible reason, however, is that many of us have had more or less the same education and upbringing before arriving here, thus contributing to our interests, clothing style and possibly things like the gloss of our hair. And who knows? Perhaps we’re all unconsciously contributing to our clone-ness by adapting to what we see around us; good old-fashioned group behavior. If law students all look the same to us, why is it so hard to believe that we do too?

This article was meant to be accompanied by pictures of clones for clarification, but in the end your writer had to clone herself to finish the too many essays. So: next time you scan the crowd in dining-hall,in the bar or even in class, be sure to be extra alert. The.clones.are.everywhere.

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