Boomerang Debate

Proposition: UCU is an elitist institution full of spoiled snobs.

PRO by Hagbard Celine

Are you upper-middle class, eager to excel and do you know how to appear well mannered? You went to an international high school and have parents who can pay the high fees? Then University College Utrecht is the place for you! Here you will be protected from the outside world, and the only time you might have to see an immigrant or a member of the proletariat is when you leave your tray in Dining Hall.

Then again, you might not even go to Dining Hall. Never mind the €2000 you pay to eat there, your parents can most probably afford to give you some extra money. Just remember: if you think the costs for living on campus are too high, do not protest. That’s what working class people do and it’s not your money anyway, so why care?

You don’t want to disappoint your parents, do you? Stay calm, everything at UCU is organized so that you won’t. With the reputation of this school, and the connections you make here, you will easily secure the continuation of your blood line in the upper levels of society. And since we prefer our students to come here immediately after high school, your grandparents will never have to see you work in a factory or a supermarket.

Worried about all the international students? Don’t be. Even though some of them are from poorer countries, you can be sure they are from well-off families. In our careful and selective admission procedures we make sure they share our common values. At UCU, you will see no field *****[1], communists or terrorists!

In our welcoming environment you will never have to question your beliefs, because everyone is just like you. Here you never have to feel weird about idolizing Donald Trump or masturbating to the Economist. We all do it!

If you come from the right background, UCU is the place for you!

CON by Cornelis Cornelisovic

This hogwash thesis came from a lazy idiot who never worked a day in his life. If UC students were spoiled would they chose a college expecting them to work 52 hours a week? No! They would spend their days with prostitutes in the sunshine on daddy’s yacht at Cote d’Azur instead of writing essays on the emotional traumas of the Palestinian People.

Elitist means only admitting members of the elite to educate them in order to continue that elite: applied to UCU that’s obviously rubbish. Everybody in the Netherlands has the chance to enrol here. Those without family support have to take a high study debt; yet there certainly are students paying for UCU all by themselves. Because of the scholarship opportunity, many non-Dutch students from Russia, China, Romania and so on, also have the chance to come to UCU. The declared aim is to have a student body as diverse as possible: the exact opposite of elitism.

UCU students sell their souls to engage in the Utrecht community and raise money for the disadvantaged. They slave in a restaurant for the Cultural Cookery and strip for HumCo’s underwear run. For the Anglia Project they teach at Utrecht’s most infamous schools. In the bushes, they defy bloodthirsty mosquitoes and lions for weeks during the UCU in Africa program. This only but shows the deep connection to, and respect for, all human beings felt by UCU students. Anybody doubting this should definitely be repeatedly kicked in the face.

UCU students are snobs? They don’t feel better than anybody! They know even a toilet lady was better prepared for the job market when she left school than they are after three years of the Liberal Arts & Sciences. Fact: The UCU community is open to everybody, egalitarian in the deepest sense of the word and ready to sacrifice its students’ lives to help Al Gore save the Planet.

[1] Term used by African American activist Malcom X to distinguish between African Americans slaves who worked in houses and accepted slavery and those working in the fields and rebelling against the whites, too racist for the Boomerang


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s